I hate titles. I always try to come up with something catchy or witty, but it's always so blah. No more, I think. In my journal, I stopped putting dates on each entry because, at the moment that I decided, I felt that time was of little to no importance to me. I feel the same about titles today.
I'm confused about where I want my relationship to go. Extensive talking and explaining today with Fan4 led me to more thinking. It's all I really think about anymore, but they gave me more angles to view. I'm just confused still. When I'm with other people, looking in, I really just don't give a shit what happens because I just stop caring or something, but when I'm with him it's like I go completely insane trying to keep the threads left of our relationship holding together. I just wish we could talk like civilized people. It's hard when you're crazy for someone; you hear one thing you don't like and it's like a tsunami hits. I'm such a hysterical girl.
I run out of gas too quickly when writing. I feel like I never finish all of my thoughts, mainly because I just get tired of thinking halfway through. I don't know where it came from, but I feel like I have a lot to say. It's just never the right time.

News for the day:

School is ridiculously depressing and the weather is not helping.

More breaking news coming soon.

I finished all of my German homework early; however, I couldn't do Aufsatz(essay) corrections because my computer is extremely fickle.
I didn't attend most of my classes mo.-th. because I can't stand the thought of being awake in this town.
I have to go to work tonight and I would normally be looking forward to it, at least a little bit, if I wasn't so tired/run-down.
Yesterday night, Shaye and I argued about Toledo because he thinks it's irresponsible. I told him that he couldn't control me and he said that while I'm gone for the three days I'm gone that, basically, he's going to go fuck lots of other girls. I'm tired of his bullshit, but I can't help that I want to be with him. I don't have a plausible explanation for why I want to be with him, of course, I just really do.
I'm drinking a coke in hopes that it will substitute for a Monster at least for a little while.
I need to learn how to save money. I really hate being poor.
I want to get on the über-sleep schedule. The one where you sleep for 20 minutes every 4 hours or something ridiculous. I think that would probably be the best thing for me.
I have class in 15 minutes. I would much rather be home, asleep. Uhg... fuck college...

I don't have anything to say...

However, I feel like it's necessary to write something. I'm watching 2012, it's okay, but not really all that exciting. I'm enjoying kicking it with my family, drinking an MGD. I'm not enjoying making my packing list for my return to hell. I can't remember where I put my phone charger. I need to remember to scan my jellyfish picture. All of us need to plan for Toledo. I have to request off for work soon. My Mozilla has a cute ass hedgehog on it. I think I'm cool on updating.

Your body is overrated.

My body is perfection.

Don't misunderstand my opening lines, I just liked the way they sounded. There is more to this story.
I have come to terms with the fact that my A-cups will always be A-cups, until I get pregnant someday. I have also come to terms with the fact that my pants will never fit properly, nor will my shirts, because I have large legs, with a smaller waist and a long torso, with wide ribs. (I also accept that I'll never be 5'9") I don't care anymore because even if my body is shaped this way, it is beautiful. I will always have this nose and these ears and this skin and this hair and these hands. I will always possess these features and I will always love them, somewhere in my heart.
The "you" I refer to is the male unit and the "me" I refer to is the female. I don't understand why we have to feel the way we do just because we've been given a model to conform to. Do you know what makes my body perfect? The fact that no one else has the body I do. That I am the sole owner of this body of mine. I am the only one who needs to love it and it doesn't matter who agrees with me.
I don't strut and I don't act foolish because of my body. I don't wish to flaunt, I love my body for myself. I can't stand the fact that I look in the mirror and think, If only I'd been blessed with a more proportionate figure. I really can't stand knowing that you(the one I referred to earlier) are getting in the way of me loving myself. Why shouldn't I love who I am? I have reasons to hate other aspects of my being, but not my body.

I don't know for sure where I was headed with this, but I'll tell you more later.

RIP Tilly

I killed my car. I should have bought oil instead of cigarettes. I'm a dumbass, even more so than last post.
I'm employed, so that's good. But now I lack transportation. Tight.

I love being idiotic, obviously.

I haven't slept since 4pm yesterday and I only slept for an hour up to that point. I smoked before I went to my 8am and took an exam. Sitting, waiting for class number 2 to start and until it's time to go to my job interview that's immediately followed by me working for 5 hours. This is going to be a really eventful first day at work. I'm telling you, I need to get my act together or my mom's going to disown me.
Someone give me some motivation.

Oh my, tired again...

I need to get my life in gear... Take life by the horns? Put my nose to the grindstone? Other idioms about not failing at life.

I read into horoscopes too much.

I'm currently looking at my options from numerous sides. The biggest problem from the Zodiac aspect is that Aries(Shaye) and Gemini(myself) are supposed to work perfectly together. It bothers me that we can't. I guess Aries' are supposed to let Gemini's be free and, in return, Gemini's are basically supposed to show Aries' the strength of their love if things are going to really work out. One of us is doing our job. Anyway, the other options are thus far, not gratifying. No compatibility with anyone, from the Astrological standpoint at least.
I was going to write more, but I just want to go home and hope that Shaye somehow got more cigarettes.
Oh dear, I hate fucking cigarettes.